This is one of those human moments for me. That moment where you realize that, despite your efforts at self-improvement, positive thinking, prayer, learning, reading, etc., etc., etc. – you’re only human. And in this case it’s not a good realization.
Because I’m tempted to do something that’s definitely not positive, not self-improved and will in no way benefit the common good. In fact it would make things worse.
So why am I so completely tempted to do it?
Because, in my ten-year-old mind, some part of me thinks that someone deserves a comeuppance. Like that word? It’s one my grandma used to use when talking about anyone who had gotten ‘uppity’ or tried to ‘live above their means.’ In elementary-teacher-speak, I’d simply say that they deserve it. And who am I to decide what someone deserves?
Nobody. I’m nobody. But (and I hear my youngest minion’s voice in my own head here) it’s not right that they can get away with being wrong and nobody telling them about it. You’ve gotta insert the temper-filled whine into that sentence to get the full impact that my minion would give it. Without that it’s just a random sentence.
Ironic that I’ve been doing a lot of reading about humility and finding a humble state of mind, huh? Because really – it’s not my place to decide what someone else needs. Not. At. All. And the big problem here??
Giving this person their comeuppance would feel so good. At least in the short term. After that I’d just feel terrible.
Guess it’s back to prayer and self-improvement for this flawed human. And I’ll keep the filter on – the titanium setting.