I have to be fair here. I’m not always a snarky person. Really. My family would probably tell you that I’m actually pretty nice – most of the time. But lately it just seems like pet peeves are racking up like dominoes around here. I mean it. Maybe it’s just that the holidays are coming and I’ve got so much to do, so little time, and the small stuff is making me sweat. Whatever. Some of this small stuff is enough to make my skin crawl. For example:
1. The Humble Brags coming out on blogs and in Christmas letters. I read a post just the other day about this and was happy to see that I’m not the only one noticing it. You know the ones I mean. The SAHM who bemoans the fact that she ‘only’ ended up with three hours’ worth of crafting time to work on her hand-silk-screened shirts for family photos because she had to go to the grocery store. The family who claims that they ‘need a vacation to recover from all of their travels over the last year.’ Boo. So sad for them. I can’t remember the last ‘crafting time’ I had. Oh yeah, it was a couple of years ago when I actually had a Saturday morning to myself and wasn’t doing work stuff at home. And my vacations have been to the exotic locale of Dallas, TX.
2. Overachieving Elves on the Shelf. Mine moves. During a good week, he actually moves every night. But he never, ever does anything like some of the crazy stuff discussed here.
3. My Hair. I staged an intervention with it the other day, as discussed here.Today is humid. And warm. We’ll see how Hair’s recovery is going at 6:00 this evening…
4. People who take the elevator up one floor. Honestly, people, use the stairs. It’s faster for all involved. My office is on the top floor of the building. To be fair, most of it is the building’s fault for only having access on the fourth floor. Really? Where’s the incentive for a healthy work environment? Of course, the Girls Down the Hall put on their sneakers and walk the stairs twice a day before heading to the gym in full workout wear. Guess I’m just a slacker.
5. Penny Pincher Fashion. I used to like this blog. But I guess I’m behind the times, because my idea of fashion is definitely not knee-length pleated skirts and clutch handbags for the office. It’s cold in my office and I’ve got too much junk to lug around. And my budget doesn’t allow for penny-pinching items that cost $75 after using three coupons.
6. Little girls (I’m talking preschool age and under) whose mommies have bought them their first fur coats. Yes, real ones. And of course the pics are posted on Facebook. WTH? At that age I would have cried about wearing Thumper on my shoulder.
7. Here we go. The one that REALLY makes me squirm. Well, not squirm. Usually I just get steamed. Are you ready? People who try really hard to use pseudo-intellectual and/or quirky ways of speaking (or typing) to show how elevated and enlightened they are. And usually end up misusing the expression. And unless you’re British, you don’t need to agree with me by saying ‘spot on.’ A simple OK is fine. Honestly.
8. And finally – and this one is purely my own fault for reading blogs – the word ‘Hubs.’ Something about it is just demeaning and creepy. I’m all for cutesy spousal nicknames in blogs – don’t get me wrong. Hubster, Husby, even DH are all cute and fun. But something about Hubs. Just say No.
Dang, that’s a long list. Wow. Didn’t realize I’d been carrying all that around. But hopefully the four people who read this have found at least a smidgeon that they agree with. And feel free to comment and tell me if you do, so I can feel better. Cause right now I’m feeling like a total weirdo to let this stuff bother me.
I’ve always been taught that you shouldn’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Can’t remember any other cute little sayings my mom may have used over the years, but you get the idea. And I totally agree. That’s part of being an ethical, honest human being, right? Right. And if you make mistakes, the right thing to do is own it and fix it, right? Right.
I’m a hypocrite.
See, here’s the deal. We all have pet peeves. We do. Even if you don’t think you do – you do. That ONE thing that irritates you more than anything else and will take you to your last nerve if you let it? That’s a pet peeve. And one of my biggest pet peeves is cutters. You know them. Those people who see you heading to the checkout line and make a speedy beeline to get there before you. The ones who are more obvious and just shove in line at the movies. We’ve all seen them. Well, the ones who bug me the most are the drivers. The ones who drive past the ‘lane closed’ sign – the bright orange one – just like you do. But do they move over? No. They whiz on past, waiting until the absolute last inch of available lane and then force their way over in front of you. Do they realize that they are the traffic issue? That they’re the reason the rest of the roadway comes to a complete stop? Maybe. I’m sure some do. Anyhoo, I HATE it. True, strong, self-righteous hate.
I have to duck my head when I say this, but I’ve become one of them.
Not all of the time, mind you. Just sometimes. I used to be militant about following the letter of the law, common sense and unwritten driving courtesy. So much that I almost needed a sign for the top of the car screaming, ‘SEE??! I”M DOING THE RIGHT THING!!’
Not anymore. I’m ducking my head in shame here, but I’ve gotta be honest.
I cut in traffic.
Only in ONE location, during ONE part of my commute, and ONLY in the morning. See? Here I am trying to make it sound better – like I’m not a filthy hypocrite… But I am. I’ll explain… My morning commute averages about 45 minutes. Sometimes less, but sometimes a lot more – like up to an hour and 15 minutes. Seriously. But I’m a mom. I live in the ‘burbs. I can only leave so early – somehow I think the school would complain if I sent my kids to the bus stop an hour early. Or my neighbors would when the early-morning wrestling started down at the corner. So I’m limited on my start time.
Most of the drive is OK. I’m patient and try to be a good citizen, letting people in my lane, etc. But once I get to the bottleneck, all bets are off. There’s one spot on my route that comes to a complete stop. And there’s the dilemma. I could stay in my assigned lane, which is always much slower and longer due to poor planning down the road. I could. And I did for a long time – until I started being late to work. I hate being late. Also, this is a new job, so I’m still building trust, etc. I don’t want to get the ‘late’ label. No way.
So, I move over. Into the faster-moving, non-exit lane. And I creep up on the left, wait for my opportunity and some kindhearted soul who will let me over, and sweep into the correct lane. In front of all the law-abiding citizens who are silently waving their fists at me. But it saves me 10-15 minutes of drive time every day. And for this working mom, that’s a gold mine…
Like I said, this is probably trivial to most of you (or the five of you who read this), but I like to walk the talk. I try, anyway. So I had to be honest and get this off my chest.
Whew! What are your pet peeves??