Category Archives: Perspective

Kick in the Teeth

So, I came back from my weekend retreat refreshed, relaxed and inspired. My brain was literally overflowing with ideas and plans. I got my groove back and had a new outlook on life.

Guess what? Life happened. My pink cloud didn’t last much past 9 AM yesterday morning. I got seriously bummed at having to spend the day in the office working – which had absolutely nothing to do with my new attitude for self-fulfillment and personal growth. Didn’t help that it was a nasty, humid, rainy 76 degrees outside either. Even my hair rebelled, which is nothing strange. But it didn’t help my mood. And by the time I got home last night – exhausted – I just wanted to crawl into bed. No reading, Zumba, journal writing or thinking of any kind. To tell the truth, I fell asleep in front of Pawn Stars.

This morning, determined to find the groove I worked so hard to get back, I shut myself away for some quiet time. Reflecting and surfing. Which always solves the problem, right? A little Facebook makes everything better. Ha. Usually those types of days are the ones where my news feed is stacked with everyone’s vaca photos from Costa Rica or a SAHM’s latest Pinterest project.

But not today. The first thing that popped up was a link to a new post on And if you haven’t checked out her stuff, it’s fantastic. Motivational, thoughtful and spiritual. So I clicked. and read. And what she had to say was a wakeup call for me.

Boy, was I glad I did. Today’s post is all about keeping your vision alive. Keeping the groove. Keeping the spring in your step while living life on life’s terms. It was truly a God thing. Given my current state of mind, it was a reminder that He hasn’t just given me these ideas and plans for nothing. There is a plan. And I need to keep the joy and remember that things don’t happen on my schedule.

While I was reading her post, the minions were playing some new app in the other room. Some bike racing thing. And I heard minion 1 say, ‘Man, I hate the bumps in the road.’

Son, I do too. And what I felt yesterday was one of those bumps. But there’s always level ground after a bump and sometimes a hill or two. I wrote down a quote from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn over the weekend. It totally fits here, I just need to remember it. So do you. Ready? Here it is:

All of us are what we have to be and everyone lives the kind of life it’s in him to live.

Profound, huh? But I also need to remember that I have some choice in what kind of person I am. That’s my challenge this afternoon. Well, that and having enough energy to put plans into action tonight!

Riker – I just don’t like the bumps in the road.

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Filed under Attitude, goals, Personal growth, Perspective, Plans, working moms

It’s All Subjective Anyway

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About philosophy and reality. Heavy stuff, I know. That whole idea from Descartes about reality being just a figment of our imagination. Both scary and king of thought provoking or tempting at the same time. I mean, if I could just imagine a totally different life tomorrow? Take away all the crap and have it the way I want it? Man, who wouldn’t want that?

What I really need right now is a ‘Q’ moment. Like that one episode of TNG where Q shows Picard how his life would have been different – drastically – because of one simple choice. Wish I could just look at that and see.

And why is it that memory is so subjective? Probably because it involves people. How can two people remember – or not remember – an event so incredibly differently? I mean, I can remember every detail of one past New Year’s Eve as clearly as if it were yesterday. After spending the evening with friends, a dear friend and I struck out on our own to look at lights and hang out – and ended up in one of those horrible, logical, non-shouting big deal ‘discussions.’ I remember what they said. I remember the pain – it cut me to the core and didn’t stop. I cried and cried. I cried for two days, basically – until my eyes swelled so much that I had to go to the ER to get my contacts taken out because my eyeballs were so swollen. I held onto that hangdog pathetic ‘poor me’ attitude for a while. But it didn’t work. It didn’t solve the problem.

So what happened? My competitive streak kicked in. I was going to show them. Prove that I could be smarter, prettier, thinner, more talented and a better friend than anyone else could be. That didn’t work either. Still doesn’t, sadly enough.

And my friend? They don’t remember any of it. None. Zero. Zilch. They remember only that our friendship was peaceful and happy the entire year.

How is that? I mean, really? Can they really not remember? Or are they lying? I can’t think of any reason why they would have to lie to me now, after all this time. It just seems really Matrix-like that I have all of these detailed memories – and they don’t Just a vague sense of contentment and happiness. Any what really sucks is that I’m the one carrying around the negative stuff. Not them. Me.

Why is that? Is it just my tendency toward the negative? My cursedly accurate memory? Or is that really not how things went down at all – and just my skewed perspective of events?

It’s weird. Really weird. Definitely something to ponder – what if the people we know and situations in which we find ourselves are all just figments of our imagination?

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Filed under Choices, Memory, Perspective, Reality, Star Trek