I have a problem with labels. Not the paper kind. The mental kind, which can be much stickier and more troublesome. See, I am definitely a Type A personality. I like control. I like order. Add to that the
problem fact that, according to the Brain Colors test, I am also extremely Gold. Not golden – that would be a bit egocentric. But Gold. That means I like rules, regulations, checklists and routine in the extreme.
How does this relate to labels? Quite simply, I function best when I can put a label to any situation, relationship or person that I may come across. For most of my life, I’ve labeled myself in some form or fashion, just to simplify things in general (or so I thought.) Friend. Musician. Teacher. Wife. Introvert. The list goes on and on. And, in the process of creating these labels, I managed to box myself into them. I would think/act/make decisions based on whatever label I chose to identify most with at any given moment in time. You can see the problem here. I boxed myself in.
Relationships have been the same way. Upon meeting someone new my brain immediately tries to put a label on the relationship. Friend? Acquaintance? Co-worker? Instead of just living in the moment and enjoying getting to know people I jump into the compulsive attempt at labeling, and therefore, placing boundaries and expectations on, any new relationship. It makes mountains out of molehills and complications where none should exist. It poisons relationships. And it’s not fair to those people either.
Goal-setting is worse. Live in the moment? Ha! It’s been nearly impossible for most of my life. My brain is so goal-oriented that I spend so much time looking forward to the next step. I’ve really struggled with enjoying the now. That’s been my new challenge – and something that the last few months have taught me. Living in the moment. Blooming where I’m planted. Finding happiness where I am instead of where I will be.
I’m a work in progress…