Contrary to popular stereotype, Houston is NOT full of cowboy types sporting boots, Wranglers, belt buckles and full cowboy duds on a regular basis. That’s Fort Worth – Cowtown, folks! But once a year H-town pulls out all the stops. And that can mean some pretty scary sights here. For instance:
Every year there’s an unwritten ‘Rodeo dress code.’ At least for chicks. Unwritten because I have NO idea where it comes from. But without fail, every hipster female under the age of 50-ish will show up at the Rodeo dressed exactly the same. One year it was flowery mini-sundresses, blue jean jackets, straw hats and boots. Ok, that was doable. And almost flattering to most. But the next year it was – wait for it – plaid shirts (short and tight of course), boots and Daisy Dukes. Seriously. Flattering? Not so much. All I could hear was the endless replay of Stacey and Clinton in my head the entire time.
“Just because it comes in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it.”
Ouch. Really. It was painful.
And that’s not all. Once a year every dude, businessman, CEO, skater, gangsta – all of them – whips out the fullblown western duds. It’s a mix of comical and downright frightening.
But H-town doesn’t stop there. My diverse city is big enough and diverse enough that People of Walmart-worthy sights can be found each and every day. You just have to open your eyes and see what’s around you.
Examples? Yes please.
Take, for instance, the guy I saw the other day in front of my office building. Stopped at a red light, he used the opportunity to jump out of the car and check something in his trunk. Well, more of a hatchback actually. And he spent some time rearranging. Hey, it was a REALLY long red light. That’s not the crazy part. That’s normal. The crazy part was that I thought he was talking on the phone. With one hand, while the other rummaged in the trunk. Until I noticed his Bluetooth headset. Huh? Double phones? Nope. The item I thought was a phone in his hand was actually a razor.
The dude was talking on the phone, rummaging in his trunk and SHAVING. All at a red light. Really.
Or take this other one. It rained the other night. Not unusual in a city that averages 80 percent humidity in December. Thursday is mowing day for the city. So all the landscaping guys were out doing their thing on the medians during my commute. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. But, using their common sense, they were trying to stay dry. Most of them had fashion-worthy protection made out of garbage and/or grocery bags. Tunics, capes, gloves, you name it. It’s amazing what those guys can fashion out of plastic bags. Seriously. Again, not unusual.
But when I saw the two guys who had made PROTECTIVE HEADWEAR out of ziplock bags I was floored. One dude had fashioned a pretty sweet shower-cap lookalike to protect his do. Even though it wasn’t raining. But the other guy? He gets an E for Effort and Creativity.
He’d used the same kind of ziplock bag to make a protective cap for his… baseball cap.
Yep. No lie. Even though his head was dry from the cap, the CAP needed protection.
Who says city life is mundane? Open your eyes folks – you can always find free entertainment if you just look for it.
Wonder what kind of creative plastic fashion the cowboys will come up with this year??