Category Archives: Communication

Honestly

Monday. Blah. Working while the Spouse is off. Lucky guy. And my parents are in town, kids are off. Hmph. It’s a living, right?

We actually had a lovely weekend. Weather was nice, lots of outside time with the minions, shopping with my mom in the ‘burbs, dinner out. Lots of fun. And now back to the grind. Whee.

So what should I talk about today? Something that’s been on my mind a lot this weekend, and something seriously lacking in today’s society.

Honesty.

See, I’m all for being honest. Sometimes bluntly, sometimes gently – but honesty is always the best policy, in my opinion. Because I truly believe that most people would rather hear the truth up front, however much it might sting at the time. Really. Just think of all the problems it would solve. Job interview? It would eliminate days or weeks of anxious waiting for a callback. Fashion choice? Any woman would much rather know up front that yes, it really does make your butt look fat. Something in your teeth? Oh, please just tell me now so I can fix it. Fly down? ASAP notification is a requirement. Relationships? It hurts to find out that a friendship is over, but again – I’d much rather know right away, deal with it and move on. Forget the ‘I’m just so busy right now,’ or ‘I know it seems like I’m avoiding you but – ,’ or ‘I’ll support you no matter what.’ Please. All of those statements give false hope, whether that is the intention or not. Like I said, yes, the truth may hurt in the short term – but that’s nothing compared to months/years of trying to rekindle a friendship only to be met with vague excuses and promises. Really. And that goes for any age – kids or adults.

Why bring this up now? Because I’ve worked really hard to be bluntly honest with myself. Seriously. Blunt. It’s hard. I don’t like it most of the time. But it really does make a lot more sense than continuing to delude myself about abilities, situations and realities. And since I’ve bitten the bullet with self-honesty, I find it that much harder to deal with outside people and situations. I’ve said before that I tend to over analyze and read too much into things. That’s because most of us find it too hard to be honest with each other. Especially with those we care about. It’s easier to be vague, try to ‘let others down easily’ or – especially in the digital age – use email and/or texting as a major method of communication. Without the facial expressions or tones of voice of others, words can just go out into the cyber void without thought. And I’m speaking from personal experience. It’s easier to be dishonest through email. Not proud of it, but it’s reality.

So do yourself and others a favor. Just be honest. Even if it’s hurtful. Short term hurt is much easier to face and doesn’t fester like long-term false hope. Really.

Leave a comment

Filed under Communication, honesty, life lessons, Relationships