And this is a reminder I need today. So much that I’m using it as my mantra this morning. Why? Because, for one thing, I have a tendency to take things personally and make them all about me. And for another, recent events have me defaulting to that particular character defect. Much as I’ve worked on my self-talk and tried to reprogram my brain, some things just cause my head to default to that mode of self-pity. Particularly girl stuff and relationships.
See, there’s some pretty big stuff coming down the pipes for my extended network of peeps. We’re talking celebratory stuff. Huge. And, thanks to the
pain in the butt joy that is social media, I was lucky enough to see plenty o’ posts and pics over the weekend. Really fun stuff.
And apparently I wasn’t invited.
Now, here’s where the insecure-formerly-socially-inept-introvert in me starts to take it personally. Ladies, you know the drill. Why didn’t they invite me? Oh, it’s because I’m not good enough for that crowd. Not really a part of it. Sure, they’re nice to me in certain situations, but only because they have to be. They don’t really want me around. Maybe if I dressed better, wasn’t so old….
Ok, stop it. That monologue could (and does) go on and on ad infinitum. As far as I’ll let it. And that’s where I’ve had to kick my (however tiny) rational side in the butt and make a conscious choice. To think differently.
Newsflash – it’s really NOT ALL ABOUT ME. As much as I (apparently) would like to think so, it’s not.
In fact, when I stopped for a microsecond to ponder this particular situation, I KNOW that there’s a perfectly good reason I wasn’t invited this time. It was a sign of respect from those doing the planning. And I should be grateful that they care enough to consider that the invitation would have made me feel awkward or uncomfortable because of certain other issues. My brain (at least the left side of it) knows these things.
So why does the rest of me persist in trying to make myself miserable and insecure over nothing? Guess old habits die hard…
So that’s my goal for today, folks. Going on day three here – endless repetitions of ‘It’s not personal,’ going through my head. Maybe I’ll believe it eventually.
Am I the only one with this problem?