Ok, that’s it. Today’s the day. I’m doing it. I am SO doing it. Today. Right now. Yes, yes I am.
What am I doing? What’s the momentous resolution o’ the day? Wait for it – it’s a good one…
I’m giving up the nasty carbs at work.
Shocker, right? If you know me in the real world, you may not know the extent of my carboholism. I keep it fairly well hidden. But it’s bad. Bread, potatoes, anything crunchy or starchy – I’m all over that stuff. I actually tried to go Adkins once. Once. When the Spouse was on a health kick and went all-out Adkins I tried to be the supportive wife and jump on the bandwagon. My carbless-ness lasted until 10 AM. Seriously. And by then I was a jittery starving mess.
But I’ve realized lately that I’m eating more carbs than anything else. And that’s bad. And the carbs I’m eating? I don’t even like them. The only reason I’m eating them at all is that they’re there. Know what I mean? See, there’s a Snack Cabinet at the office. Full of stuff that’s just there for the taking. Sun Chips, Goldfish, Cheez-Its – you name it.
And pretzels. Rold Gold pretzels, to be exact. Which I don’t even like, as far as pretzels go. In fact they’re at the bottom of my list. But I’ve been eating them every day. Really. Just because they are sitting in that cabinet. The one I walk past every time I go to refill my coffee. It’s become automatic – fill the coffee, add the creamer, stir, get the pretzels, back to work.
I’m done. Done. It’s one thing to eat carbs that I like – but a totally different animal when I’m eating nasty tasteless crunchy Rold Gold pretzels. And you know what?? I just about reached for that cabinet door just now! When I took a break from typing this! Unbelievable!!
So that’s my resolution today. Not To Eat The Pretzels. You’re my witnesses here. Change is good, and more protein gives me more energy, right? Right.
Which brings me to the second part of today’s post. Visiting Big D always makes me homesick. Makes sense, since I consider that my home. But there’s more to it. Seeing friends and family brings out my insecure demons in full force. Family painted and redecorated the house? Suddenly my own house looks dingy and outdated. And I feel like a cruddy housekeeper because I haven’t hung the wall decor that I’ve had planned for months now. It’s just sitting on the floor in a neat little pile. But wait, there’s more. Fridge full of gourmet, organic, Whole-Foods-type goodies? Yeah, my kids eat mac and cheese. Out of the box. The kind with the cheese powder.
See what I mean? As much as I love visiting Big D, I almost always end up feeling crappy about myself, my life and the way I run it. Here’s the irony – my current read? You’re going to laugh.
Beth Moore’s So Long, Insecurity.
Guess I need to get reading, huh??