On the Road Again…

Well, I did it. Successfully planned, packed, straightened and left my pile o’ necessities by the door for the Spouse to pack later this afternoon.

Now all I have to do is wait out the workday, right?

Granted, I’m a bit concerned about the minions’ packing lists. Yes, they have plenty of clean clothes from which to choose. Yes, they can pack for themselves. But will they? That’s always a tossup. And this morning was no exception. Man, are they stoked about this trip! They had two tasks – to get dressed and basically straighten their rooms/make beds, etc. Did they do it?

Heck no. That would have been far too easy! I gave them a few minutes and went back to check on their progress. One minion was dressed but using his energy to hang from his door frame. Yes, he’s ten years old and DOES know better. The other minion was dancing around his room, stark naked.

Sigh. Gentle reminder number one – check.

Fast forward a few minutes. Surely progress had been made, because I heard loud singing. Back to check on them again. Well, there was progress – minion number two was still dancing, but this time in a pair of Incredible Hulk underwear. So, yes, technically he was getting dressed, I guess. Minion number one – no progress on the room, but he tried to impress me with his version of Adele’s ‘Skyfall.’ It went something like this:

“Let the poop fall…”

Why on earth do boys find poop and farts so darned funny?? I just don’t get it.

Not-so-gentle reminder number two. Sigh. Makes me really appreciate the fact that I won’t be around when the Spouse has to actually make them pack this afternoon. And yes, I’m smirking at the scene that will probably go down at mi casa. Oh well – I won’t be there. I’ll be wrapping up another week of Big Commercial Real Estate. Too bad, huh?

surival-tips-for-a-family-road-trip

But road trips in our family have some inevitable rules. Really. Certain things ALWAYS happen, no matter how old the kid, where we’re going or the length of the trip. Wanna know what they are? Here goes:

  1. Someone will spill food at some point. And not just a small spill. We’re talking the ‘trying-to-open-the-bag-of-gummy-bears-and-it-split-down-the-side-spewing-candy-everywhere’ kind of disaster. Ever tried picking up countless gummy bears from the back seat – in the dark? Don’t. It’s not fun. And there’s always one that gets left behind and sat on.
  2. The minions will get into an argument over a video game. Yes, they each have their own DS. Yes, they each have enough games in their cases to share with five other kids. But at some point, they will get into a smackdown over the ONE cartridge that they both want at the same time. Without fail.
  3. The Spouse will get irritated with Big D drivers. Granted, they’re crazy. So are H-town drivers. The difference is, Big D traffic moves – fast. So drivers really can go like bats out of you-know-where. And they do.
  4. Someone will announce – ten minutes after a bathroom stop – that they have to pee. Badly. Most often it’s a minion – the same minion who SWORE that they didn’t have to go at the rest stop.
  5. I will get picked up from work late. How late, exactly? That’s the variable. But it’s never failed yet. No matter how early the fam leaves the house. Given that Tim McGraw is playing at the Rodeo tonight, I’m betting on at least fifteen minutes late. I’ll keep you posted.

Does any of this sound familiar? Or are we just a crazed group of unlucky travelers? What are your family road trip non-negotiables?

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