Snarkity Snark Snark Snark

I have to be fair here. I’m not always a snarky person. Really. My family would probably tell you that I’m actually pretty nice – most of the time. But lately it just seems like pet peeves are racking up like dominoes around here. I mean it. Maybe it’s just that the holidays are coming and I’ve got so much to do, so little time, and the small stuff is making me sweat. Whatever. Some of this small stuff is enough to make my skin crawl. For example:

1.       The Humble Brags coming out on blogs and in Christmas letters. I read a post just the other day about this and was happy to see that I’m not the only one noticing it. You know the ones I mean. The SAHM who bemoans the fact that she ‘only’ ended up with three hours’ worth of crafting time to work on her hand-silk-screened shirts for family photos because she had to go to the grocery store. The family who claims that they ‘need a vacation to recover from all of their travels over the last year.’ Boo. So sad for them. I can’t remember the last ‘crafting time’ I had. Oh yeah, it was a couple of years ago when I actually had a Saturday morning to myself and wasn’t doing work stuff at home. And my vacations have been to the exotic locale of Dallas, TX.

2.       Overachieving Elves on the Shelf. Mine moves. During a good week, he actually moves every night. But he never, ever does anything like some of the crazy stuff discussed here.

3.       My Hair. I staged an intervention with it the other day, as discussed here.Today is humid. And warm. We’ll see how Hair’s recovery is going at 6:00 this evening…

4.       People who take the elevator up one floor. Honestly, people, use the stairs. It’s faster for all involved. My office is on the top floor of the building. To be fair, most of it is the building’s fault for only having access on the fourth floor. Really? Where’s the incentive for a healthy work environment? Of course, the Girls Down the Hall put on their sneakers and walk the stairs twice a day before heading to the gym in full workout wear. Guess I’m just a slacker.

5.       Penny Pincher Fashion. I used to like this blog. But I guess I’m behind the times, because my idea of fashion is definitely not knee-length pleated skirts and clutch handbags for the office. It’s cold in my office and I’ve got too much junk to lug around.  And my budget doesn’t allow for penny-pinching items that cost $75 after using three coupons.

6.       Little girls (I’m talking preschool age and under) whose mommies have bought them their first fur coats. Yes, real ones. And of course the pics are posted on Facebook. WTH? At that age I would have cried about wearing Thumper on my shoulder.

7.       Here we go. The one that REALLY makes me squirm. Well, not squirm. Usually I just get steamed. Are you ready? People who try really hard to use pseudo-intellectual and/or quirky ways of speaking (or typing) to show how elevated and enlightened they are. And usually end up misusing the expression. And unless you’re British, you don’t need to agree with me by saying ‘spot on.’ A simple OK is fine. Honestly.

8.       And finally – and this one is purely my own fault for reading blogs – the word ‘Hubs.’ Something about it is just demeaning and creepy. I’m all for cutesy spousal nicknames in blogs – don’t get me wrong. Hubster, Husby, even DH are all cute and fun. But something about Hubs. Just say No.

Dang, that’s a long list. Wow. Didn’t realize I’d been carrying all that around. But hopefully the four people who read this have found at least a smidgeon that they agree with. And feel free to comment and tell me if you do, so I can feel better. Cause right now I’m feeling like a total weirdo to let this stuff bother me.

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Filed under Elf on the Shelf, Pet peeves, Venting

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