Uptown Uproar

As locations go, I work Uptown. Technically, that is. Not sure exactly what that means, but I’m sure there’s some really technical historical reasoning behind the labels. If I had time, I’d Google it. Maybe later. Part of my brain would really like to know why Midtown is south of Downtown and Uptown is west. Hmmm. Later.

Anyhoo, my office is Uptown. For the most part, that means I get to avoid most of the traffic headed Downtown. I also get to enjoy places like this:

You can’t see it here, but just on the other side is a lovely park where I have lunch most days. Lunch, people-watching, reading a good book and trying to avoid the shopping that abounds here. I’m on a budget.

So this week I’m the ‘boss’ of my department. My boss is on vacation so I’m in charge for the week. Exciting, I know. Actually I love the challenge and opportunity to try new things and stretch my skills out of my comfort zone. At the beginning of the week I was confident and ready to rock the real estate world. Now, three days in, my old nemesis, self-doubt, is trying to make an appearance. Why is that?

Well, two reasons mainly. One – I’m a perfectionist. I want to prove that I can do this – perfectly. So mistakes aren’t an option (stupid, I know – they’re a part of life. They happen. But I have trouble admitting that to myself.) That makes it tough when a mistake isn’t my fault but I’m responsible for resolving it. Like the situation yesterday where someone submitted the wrong time sheet. Careless on their part, but I was the one stressing about getting the correct sheet from them, getting it approved and emailing it in on time so they would get paid. Somehow my brain tries to take responsibility for the initial error.

Two – I don’t like to delegate. It’s a problem. I’d much rather do everything myself so that it gets done ‘right.’ That’s an issue when my part of a project is just one step in the entire process, and all I can do is email it on to the next person. Then I’m totally dependent on that person doing their job in a timely manner. Can we say trust issues?? Uh huh…

Add in the fact that there is no ‘typical’ day in real estate, and I’m a ball of nerves. Instead of jumping out of bed thinking ‘I’m ready to tackle this day,’ this morning was more like ‘I hope nothing weird happens today.’ Not the best attitude, right? Time for some self-reflection, positive affirmation and jumping jacks! It’s time for some Stuart Smalley:

‘Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!’

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1 Comment

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One response to “Uptown Uproar

  1. Oh how I feel your pain! I am finding out through reading your blog that you and I are much alike. Keep plodding through. I found the years that I spent in the "real world" of banking and working for the library software company to be some of the most challenging and rewarding of my life. However, they were way out of my comfortable world of schools and teaching. Enjoy and keep working to smash that self doubt when it pops up. Pretend you are playing whack-a-mole and let the ugly, furry emotions that undermine your confidence have it!

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