I (Thought I) Need(ed) a Do-Over

So I have been off my game lately. I admit, my little trip last month has really thrown me off my game. Things like daily routing, blogging and writing have taken a back seat to the job hunt. But I’m really trying to get back into things that bring me joy – like writing and blogging. And for the three of you who actually read this, I hope you enjoy.

We all have days when we feel like a do-over. Whether it’s a bad hair day, hindsight about a fashion choice (or, like me, you busy moms who notice halfway through the day that you’re wearing mismatched shoes, socks or earrings – it happens more than you may think) or words that you watch coming out of your mouth like a cartoon bubble, we’ve all had those moments. Trust me, I’ve definitely had more than my share. And the other day, in a fit of frustration, I found myself thinking, ‘It would be nice to be back in high school – when I only thought I had responsibilities and stress.’

WHAT WAS I THINKING?? To put it mildly, I didn’t love high school. Nope. Mainly because I was afraid of people. Not just shy – literally afraid of people. Agoraphobia is probably a gentle word for it. I tried to hide it by submerging myself in the band world. It’s really hard to talk to people when you’re either shouting commands at them or have an instrument or whistle crammed to your face at all times. Try it – you can’t. It was perfect. In fact, I’ve since heard that (apparently) most people thought I was snobby and stuck-up. If you are reading this and you were one of those people – trust me, that wasn’t it. I was just afraid of you. Seriously. Not that I didn’t have friends. My small handful of trusted peeps (yes, you – Jill, Janine, Dez, Kristen…) got me through most social situations. And I can’t forget Greg and Siobhan, without whom I would undoubtedly still be stuck in Chemistry.

So in the midst of these mixed-up musings I came across this article on Facebook. Ironically, posted by a couple of fellow classmates. Interesting. Not only does it perfectly describe me (both then and now) but it got me thinking. I used to hate group work, particularly in our two-hour history and English block class. I always felt like no one listened to my ideas. Well, duh – I would have actually had to share them for people to ignore them… Who knew? And that class was full of intimidating people – or so I thought. It’s funny, but this article made me realize that we were basically a room full of introverts. Define irony – roomful of introverts forced to work cooperatively. No wonder Babs Taylor and little Mrs. Brown got so irritated when we failed to produce ‘in a timely manner.’

Ok, here’s a thought. I could just tattoo the basics of that article on my forehead and go about my days. No? Maybe not. And I’ve come a long way with people. Heck, I taught school. For a long time. No longer do eight- and nine-year-olds frighten me. Now, the parents… Just kidding. Granted, the sales job I was offered a few weeks ago wasn’t the best fit for me. I might be able to sell a fish some water – but I wouldn’t like it. So I am trying to embrace my inner introvert (say that five times fast.) Embrace it, but not use it as an excuse. I’m just glad to know there are others like me. So I don’t need (or want) to go back to high school to avoid responsibility. After all, I’m in charge of my own decisions now and could never give that up. Nope. I’m happy the way I am – with improvements along the way, of course.

And you extroverts? Slow down, take a deep breath and hug an introvert today. Well, maybe not hug them. That could be scary. Personal space and all that. Virtually hug them while giving them their space. Ciao!

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Filed under Introverts, Moms, Personal growth, Personalities

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